If you keep saying pigeon, it starts to sound like gibberish

The majority of my day was spent trying to figure out who plucked a pigeon, and whether said pigeon was dead or alive when it was plucked. The meaning behind it is very different depending on the circumstances. The main suspect is the same person who tore the head off a pigeon and threw it at someone several months ago. He had been keeping it as a pet, and when he was forced to give it back...he did. (Sad if you think about it too long, so moving on...) 

In retrospect, I have several good pigeon stories. Like the guy who would only feed the dark blue (?) pigeons because "You white pigeons get everything!" Or the guy who accidentally set his cell on fire by trying to cook a pigeon, then threw the flaming pigeon in his toilet, which then flooded his cell. "Squab!" 

Prison. It's a bad place to be a pigeon. Or a raccoon. Apparently one hit the fence today and, direct quote, "exploded." I can't even imagine the grossness of that, and I'm pretty good at imagining grossness.