About a month ago, I interviewed for a job at "headquarters" on the team that oversees the mental health programs at several prisons. Between the interview and the job offer is a long and complicated story that doesn't really fit here, but I got an offer that day (yay!) and then they rescinded it (boo!) and then they offered it again (yay!) and then I got a start date (YAY!) that's a month away (blergh.)
I'd been keeping it all very hush-hush until it was official official and I could give my team actual details. Once I had a start date, my boss wanted to advertise my job ASAP so I had to scramble to be able to tell my team. Tuesday was the first chance I had and it was SO HARD. I love this team so much. So much that I actually considered turning down the job so that I could stay with them. They took the news hard, but they were so wonderful and supportive and amazing. I am so grateful for that. There are a lot of hard things about working where I do, but they make it fun.
So that was a bummer, but really as good as it could have gone. I still haven't broken my "No crying in prison" rule, but I came really close a few times.
Also on Tuesday evening was Eli's Scout Christmas party. It was a white elephant/dessert party and he was so excited. I'm embracing the idea of "boy lead" and told him that if he wanted to take a dessert he'd have to make it himself so of course he knocked it out of the park. He made candy cane cookies from scratch, without even using the mixer. SO GOOD. I used one of the games I bought before I got better suggestions for his gift and it was all in all a very easy meeting prep. I dropped him off early, and then went back at the tail end. You guys? I never understood the fun of white elephants until I watched 20 tween/teen boys play. There was much shouting and laughing and it looked so fun! And these kids were super creative too. Eli ended up trading his "Cold Hard Cash" (money frozen in a gallon jug) for the game he brought (side note: Excellent move. The game is super fun and all of us can play it. You should totally get it.)
And now to where I (maybe?) ruined Christmas. Driving home, Eli and I were talking and I off-handedly asked him, "When did you realize Santa wasn't real?" You guys know where this is going, right? SMH. I have said FOR YEARS that Eli never believed in Santa. YEARS. This is the same kid who asked me if we could just give him the money now instead of pretending the tooth fairy brought it. He was always so logical and never talked about Santa as if it was a "thing" so C and I just sort of let it be. We took him for pictures but we don't do the Elf and we don't make a big deal about "What's Santa bringing?" or Santa watching or any of that. We were really thrown off our game when we realized the girls did believe and we had to start playing along. So of course then C came up with this elaborate story about how he's friends with Santa and they used to golf together. But Eli NEVER got into it and just sort of complacently played along. OR SO I THOUGHT.
|This does not look like a kid who believes this isn't super weird|
So I'm expecting this *moment* where Eli's going to tell me what it was that made him realize that there was no magical man bringing presents, or a confession that he never believed but thought we did, or something along those lines. Instead, I ask him when he realized Santa wasn't real and he looks over and completely deadpan says, "Right now."
Shitfuckdamniti'materribleparent. But also this kid has the driest sense of humor ever so there are two possibilities. One, I just ruined the last bastion of magic in my poor, logical, man-child's life. And I did it in the most unmagical, unpoignant way possible. Or two, he's playing me. So I awkwardly laugh and start pushing him with "REALLY?!" And this little shit kept it up. I kept trying to get him to give it up and finally he Eddie Haskeled me and said, "Mom? Do I lie to you so much that you can't even tell when I'm telling the truth? I am SO sorry!" I just kept flip-flopping between "Haha! It was just a test! Santa's totally real!" "OMG, Kid, I'm so sorry!" and "Please don't tell your sisters." I asked him about the tooth fairy and he looked offended and said, "Well of course I knew the tooth fairy wasn't real, but I believed you about Santa." He was so stoic and finally told me, "It's okay Mom. I guess I had to find out eventually. It's not like you ruined Christmas." Little shit. I'm about 85% certain that he's pulling my leg, but it's three days later and he hasn't dropped it. I tried to get C to get it out of him, but even he couldn't get him to break. So maybe I ruined his childhood? Or maybe he's a sociopath?