I totally forgot to write this story! Last week, C had agreed to watch one of Avery's BFFs while his mom substitute taught for the day. He hadn't told Avery yet and was cuddling with her while I got ready for work. He's super excited to tell her that her buddy is coming over for the day. From the bathroom, I hear this conversation.
C: Avery! We're going to do something super fun today!
A: We are? What are we going to do?!
A: (Excitedly) DIE?!?!?!
This girl is such a nut. She is joy personified and so cute and so sweet. She loves to give you kisses on your cheek and talks like an adult. Full blown conversations. She was (obviously) very affected by the Sunday School lesson on the story of the resurrection and loves that "Jesus died! But then he wasn't died anymore!" She responds strongly and dramatically, and sometimes violently, to injustice but negotiates and manipulates like a champ. She cuddled up to me sweetly yesterday and told me "It's really nice when people share their Kindles. Hmm. Maybe you could share your Kindle with me!" She loves the damn dog so much and calls him "Buddy." She adores Sydney and "Leli" and can't wait for them to get home. She loves her tractors and her critters in the dollhouse (thank goodness!) but won't keep their clothes on because "they're animals, Mama, and animals don't wear clothes." She's still cuddly and loves to plop herself in the crook of my arm while I'm reading on the couch or watching TV, and will just chat. She still won't sleep with us though. She hates if I pour her milk for her. She's funny and mischievous and loves to be naughty to the point that it will probably be an issue. I kind of hope it's an issue.
I was really stung by the thought that Avery could be my last baby, and by how quickly we fell back on our foster/adoption journey. I anticipated a lot of anguish and grief, regardless of whether adopting a baby was the right step for us. However, it has quickly settled into a really nice, really comfortable place. C and I were talking at dinner the other night and both of us confessed to not being all that sad anymore. We started pointing out all the ways that our family is pretty awesome right now, not the least of which being that we have NO ONE in diapers. We can literally throw everyone in the car and go. We fit in a car. The kids are quasi-independent, at least in that I don't have to carry anyone if I really don't want to (though Avery still occasionally asserts that her legs don't work.) With the kids getting older, we can start shifting some of our plans and activities that either wouldn't be feasible or wouldn't be fun with a baby, and would be more trouble than they were worth with a foster baby (court approved vacations, visit schedules etc.). I think it was really sad and intimidating to come to the realization that we were done. It was hard to go through the certification process and then look someone in the face and say, "Maybe this isn't for us." But I am glad that we did all of those things because I think it brought us to a very genuine, authentic place. Five is solid, and we are an amazing five. Our kids are awesome, and it's awesome that they're kids and not babies. I still crave the feeling of a baby in my arms, but that's why I'm peer pressuring my friends into having more :)