Stream of consciousness

It's so cliche, but I feel like I'm so busy that I barely have a chance to catch my breath. There's work and teaching and kids and the dog (oh my god the dog) and trying to build a social circle outside of prison and then silly things like buying food and washing clothes. On top of that, I've been having a personal crisis feeling like I'm not doing many things (teaching, running, the stupid freaking budget) as well as I could/should be. Prioritizing is not an area that I struggle with, so I'm not trying to be 100 % 100% of the time, but I know where I'm not putting enough effort in. So yeah. Busy.

I meant this to be a compilation of cute pictures, but it appears to be morphing into commentary on being a working mom/sole breadwinner with small kids. I love my job(s) and I love that C can be home. That's not to say I didn't love when the kids were in daycare, but life is a lot simpler with one parent at home. And we're happier as a couple. 

C always says that he's lucky because I've been the stay-at-home, so I know what it's like. It's true, I can totally sympathize with how hard it can be just to keep everyone from killing each other. On the other hand, it's taken me nearly three years to realize that his stay-at- home looks a lot different from mine. I cleaned and ran errands. He Plays with the kids in that frenetic, roll on the ground way that they need and I can never muster the enthusiasm for. I don't come home to dinner on the table and folded laundry. It's wonderful, but it's different.

So as part of my move to be a more complete, balanced perso I've put more emphasis on "self care." I went on my second EVER girls night last week. I run nearly every day. I'm trying, with varied success, to read and get a reasonable amount of sleep. They're all good things, but my days are definitely full. 

I'm not sure if I can sustain this amount of activity, but I'm hoping it will have a positive effect in that doing more good things leads to increased energy and life satisfaction. On the other hand, I've had multiple supervisors comment that I "tend to take on too much." We'll see how this one goes. Sheryl Sandburg says I should take control of my schedule, so here goes...

And just for kicks , a few random pics