1. I'll drive to three different stores to find chicken nuggets with all natural ingredients, and then not blink an eye
when my kid eats it off the floor
2. Doctor's appointments are right up there with DisneyLand. Waiting! With magazines!
3. $1200 for a bed for four seems not only reasonable but necessary
4. I regularly clap for natural (and usually private) bodily functions
5. Someone peed on my kitchen floor and I thought it was hilarious. Like, couldn't stop laughing.
6. As I near my car in a parking lot, I start chanting "Touch the car! Touch the car! Touch the car!"
7. I become paralyzed with fear anytime either of my children is too close to a banister, railing, or too-clean
window. I fear that they will be possessed and jump, or that someone will push them, or the floor will fall out
under them. Because that happens all the time.
8. I have thought through and strategized exactly what I would do if my car plummeted off the side of a bridge
(hint, a hard-sided cooler is required).
9. Most things I do are accompanied by a snazzy little song Who picks apples?! We do! We do! Do we pick
apples? Yes we do!
10. I often refer to myself in the third person by a name that no one calls me. Just me. About myself.
How has motherhood made you crazy?