So we had our 39 week appointment this morning. The appointment at which we were all pretty confident we'd find our girl lying sideways and start scheduling a repeat c-section. Not so much. Guess who's kiddo went all conformist on us at the last second? Even the doctor was surprised. He says there's a 99% chance she'll stay that way now, but I'm not so convinced. Either way though, we're waiting for nature now. If we do have a c-section, it'll be a last-minute surprise.
I was given the choice between a VBAC and a repeat c-section. At the time, I chose to try to have her the old-fashioned way because all things considered it's better for all of us. I'm a firm believer that the baby comes when it's ready. I also felt like Eli was pretty drugged up after he was born, and that's a rough way to start life. From what I hear, recovery is easier if you don't have surgery, and breastfeeding is also easier (labor triggers production...). I never felt upset that I had a c-section the first time, but did feel like I hadn't quite earned my stripes the way someone who talks about 27 hours of labor did.
And yet, today when he said that she was head down and we could wait for her to come naturally, my heart dropped. I'll admit that I was disappointed, so much so that I may have cried on the way home. Waiting sucks. I had put it in my mind that by early next week we'd have this little girl and could start on the new chapter. I also now have to re-prepare myself for labor, which I wasn't so sure about in the first place. I know logically that women have been doing this for thousands of years, but I also know that pride is an issue for me and it's a lot easier to sit back and wait than be surprised that your pain tolerance isn't as high as you thought it was. Plus, Eli was almost 9 pounds and there's a good chance this one will be bigger.
Like I said, I believe that babies cook as long as they need to and it's not my place to push it. I'm also eternally grateful that she's strong and healthy. But my patience is running thin. I can't sleep. I've developed carpal tunnel and pitting edema, both sexy side effects of pregnancy. It's hot and I'm outgrowing my maternity clothes. I'm really big. This week at Target I was recognized by a stranger and then identified as "that girl I was telling you about." I'm tired of the comments, since I can't ever think quick enough to respond the way I want to. Not twins, another week or so, yep still pregnant, not triplets, thanks for asking, please go away now. I can't get up from the couch and there's nothing good on tv. I can't bend over to pick up the house, but I desperately need to be doing something. I clean, and then the next day I clean again, and then again. And now I'm getting the "are you in labor yet?" phone calls. Can you tell my sense of humor's shot? I have a feeling that this little girl will likely go past her due date, which again, logically I'm good with. On the other hand, four days after her due date there are five well-meaning and excited relatives scheduled to arrive. And if she's not here yet, that means five well-meaning and excited sets of eyes staring down at me willing my water to break.
Gah! I think I'm done ranting now. There's laundry to fold and dishes to do and babies to cook.